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We Stay the Same Unless we do our Personal Work

Have you read about the Japanese soldiers who held out for nearly 30 years after the end of World War 2? These soldiers adhered to the concept of Bushido, which demanded loyalty, self-sacrifice and unflinching courage. These brave men stuck to what they had been taught and conditioned into long after these old ways and beliefs were no longer relevant, at a painful cost to themselves. 


It seems to me that this is a bit like how we all operate unless we do our work to update ourselves. We are run by the old beliefs we were conditioned into as children. This is doubly true when we experience trauma as a child. The parts of us that sought to protect us under challenging circumstances get a firm hold and continue to determine our behaviour as adults, just as they did when we were children. 


I often see this in men in the grip of a strong safe-keeper, who I call their Safety Officer, and a powerful Self-Critic. When these parts of us control who we are, they usually develop in adversity and continue to operate as if we are still in difficulty or about to face threats again. They hold us down or beat us down, trying to keep us safe by making sure we stay small and out of sight. 


I am deeply saddened when I see men with a deep-seated Crumbling King, struggling to get past their Safety Officer, continually barraged and undermined by their Self-Critic. It doesn’t need to be this way!


If you would like to join me, you will find out how you can step out of your Crumbling King, convert your Safety Officer to a loyal advisor, and stop your Self-critic from eating you up.


I have a free workshop coming up, it's called :

Getting Unstuck : Moving out of Overwhelm

10th July 2024

7 - 9pm BST



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