Am I Free to Love?

For many of us men, loving freely is difficult.

In my work with men, I have found that as boys, we mostly closed down our gentle, loving

ways of being early in life.

As open, trusting, loving boys seeking connection, we recoiled when we experienced people

as harsh, unloving, cruel, rough and unsafe. A young boy in an emotionally repressed

patriarchal masculine world grows up fast, of necessity.

Maybe the only way he had to protect himself was to shut down his feelings, particularly his

sadness, which could leave him defenceless. So he hardened up to protect himself and

developed strategies to not be hurt.

He moved from trust to survival and learned to be strong to stand up for himself. He

encouraged the striving, clever and capable parts of himself so that they overpower

his innocent, gentle, loving nature. He saved himself from being so hurt.

And he now lives with these strategies as an adult. He's still in survival mode, and somehow,

though he's working so hard to make it all work, he doesn't feel happy and shies away from

depth of connection with others. 

He concentrates on doing what he knows he needs to do to look after himself and those who

depend on him, all the while staying emotionally distant from them. The people he loves wait

for him to truly be with them and to love them as he should.

But he doesn't know how. His loving side is quietly repressed by parts of himself that don't

trust the world. His overworking, unfeeling Survival Warrior eclipses his Lover.

We are attending to this on our coming Sovereign Journey Lover Weekend. Our men will

seek to realise the truth about their Lover's nature and free this part of themselves to fully

feel and love again. Men are taking steps to return to fully feeling life, to fully loving

themselves and all those around them.

We know the world is calling for us to be fully present and connected to ourselves and

others. We are coming! We are coming alive!